Sanctuary of the Strange: Matt

I knew of Matt's existence at the Sanctuary of the Strange, though I didn't know his name until I arrived. Months ago, one of the Paranormal Investigators I wound up visiting the place with sent me images of the facilities. I picked up on a male, late teens to early 20's, hanging around, in addition to several spirits whom were buried in the graveyard surrounding the church. Subsequent remote viewing by my friend Tom and an investigation by one of the owners revealed the presence of an angry male spirit hanging around and about the premises, in addition to them hanging about the surrounding neighborhood. 

    In our original walk through of the property by the owners, we were alerted to an incredibly angry ghost who was threatening anyone who entered the boiler room. I walked through the narrow cinder block entry to the boiler room and immediately announced to the owners "He's here, and his name is Matt." In the short time I have been aware of my gifts I have realized that regardless of my own egotistical doubts, the information I receive from my spirit guides or from other spirits is true. I don't expect that I will ever stop questioning this gift. My human brain still can't comprehend why I continue to receive data that has no rational validation other than my own sense of "knowing" what is true. Regardless, time and time again what I have received has proven to be validated, so I just go with it and speak with certainty. 

    Matt was one of the ghosts for whom I felt a presence when I sat down in the sanctuary to understand who was talking to us. I immediately knew that he was the young man I sensed in my own remote viewing. It became clear to me based on the info I received from the owner and my own friend Tom (not to be confused with the spirit Tom whom I would encounter later) that he had a message that needed to be heard. 

    Matt's message was clear. He was killed in a drug-related crime. He was angry because he was betrayed by someone he thought was a friend. "He was my friend, man!" was a repeated message I kept receiving from him. He didn't die in or near the church. He was killed in the surrounding neighborhood, but found the church to be a place of respite. My friend Tom's remote viewing sensed this angry spirit roaming the woods in a neighborhood surrounding the church, so it was an interesting confirmation that Matt would be there. Also weirdly confirmed by the fact that I was told by my spirit guides that the church itself was a "protected" space. 

    Matt clearly felt betrayed by those he felt were his friends. It makes sense that he felt like he was unjustly unalived. The only other information I received from him was that he lived at some point after 1980, so it wasn't a great bit of info to track down how or why his murder occurred. I've since searched the archives to figure out who he is but my search has turned up with no leads. Regardless of his circumstance, it was clear that he was an angry spirit, felt restless in his death, and was searching for a way out. And that's why it's not surprising that he went running toward the portal that opened when I met Bobby.  

    I should point out that it was after I helped Bobby cross, and felt Matt rush up on me, that we as a group returned to the boiler room. I told the 3 paranormal investigators that I felt no one in the room with us. It was after several minutes of an estes experiment, through which I personally participated and no meaningful communication came through, coupled with Elise's confirmation that I was 100% certain that Matt was the ghost that left when the portal was open.

    

Reflections on my Journey

Today's message from my spirit guides, as divined by tarot was that I should reflect on how I got here. It's something I have been meaning to do anyway, as a form of both understanding my path but also as a way to show gratitude for the trials and tribulations I've faced and the lessons they taught me. It's my understanding that it's common for those of us with gifts to be given or to have 'chosen' paths in this life that are difficult to walk. The thought is that these difficult paths refine and hone our empathy, and enable our gifts to be used as a result. 

    I have mixed feelings about this. There was a time in my life where I felt, "why me? Why am I having to endure all of this misery?" I also thought "you know, I could write a book about all the shit that I've been through." I've posted on social media before about the struggles I have faced: my birth mother has schizophrenia, which resulted in me being raised by an alcoholic father and an abusive stepmother. A first marriage at a young age that fell apart because neither of us knew who we were and we were both escaping something. Numerous SA's as a teenager. Struggles with substance use. And most recently the kicker of them all: the dissolution of my 20 year relationship to the father of my children, the death of a beloved mentor, and the loss of a job I thought I would have until I retired. I suppose I could still write that book - it would likely resonate with an unfortunately large number of people. 

    Despite all of these trials, I had the realization this morning that my soul is finally, finally at ease. I developed the self-love and sense of security that I had always searched for in other people, places, and things. Really until this fall, I had been desperately searching for a place that felt like home. I never felt at rest, even though I had a stable family and a comfortable home. Home was this far-off place that I yearned for but could never reach. All along, home had been wherever I went - I just didn't have the experience and insight to see it. 

  I left my job under duress through circumstances that weren't of my making. However, it was a gift that I didn't realize I needed. I took the deferred resignation program with NASA, which gave me 6 months of security. During those six months, I have moved twice (see aforementioned dissolution of my marriage). I have done a ton of reflection and healing. I realized that I have been blessed with the gift of communicating with spirit. But most importantly, I have finally found a home in myself. It's one thing to try to trick yourself into thinking this way; but it wasn't until I did the healing I needed that my soul truly felt it and really believed it.  

    I wouldn't wish the trauma I've experienced in my life on my worst enemy. I have done so much work to break generational traumas and not pass any of this on to my children. However, I can say that everything really does happen for a reason. The important work is to find the lessons we are supposed to learn along the way. I'm grateful for all that I have experienced. This soul, forged in fire, is finally home. 

Return to Forest Haven: Pine Cottage

After encountering the dark entities in the Poplar and Holly buildings, the positive vibes we felt in the Pine Cottage were a welcome relief. The Pine building is where the female spirits we encountered on our first trip reside. I was determined to get the name of the spirit I spoke to previously. Turns out her name is Jessica. One of the paranormal investigators that was with us brought some holiday cheer to Jessica and Layla in the Pine building. The picture is of the things that were brought for Jessica. She absolutely loved her gifts, and was particularly drawn to the candle after it was lit. 

    I spent most of my time in this building talking to and interacting with Jessica, while Tom and the other paranormal investigator were interacting with Layla. Something incredibly interesting happened to that penguin while we were there! I'm including a video of the moment we discovered exactly what happened.... 

At some point while our back was turned, Jessica moved the penguin from its original position, and had it face the lit candle! It was so wild to come to that realization. It's one thing to sense the presence of ghosts, but it's a completely different thing to get evidence of their presence! Now I know how some of these investigators feel when their instruments get set off. 

Uncovering my subconscious feelings through clairvoyance

 I have been doing a lot of research lately on how to further develop and fine-tune my skills as a person who can communicate with spirits. Part of that involves not only reading a ton of material, but also doing exercises working with energy, meditation, and developing my clairs. For those of you who may not be familiar with what a 'clair' is, it's the sense that allows a person to understand messages being sent to them from a spirit. The main clairs are: clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairaudience (clear hearing), clairsentience (clear feeling), claircognizance (clear knowing), and others, such as clairempathy, clairalience (clear smelling). Already my clairsentience, claircognizance, and clairempathy are fairly well developed. These senses are what have enabled me to receive messages. But I want to also develop my clairvoyance, as pictures can often tell much more than messages that sometimes come across as abstract. I have some clairvoyance; I'm able to tell what ghosts looked like in their human form. I can pick up on major features like height, hair color, and distinguishing features. But getting the whole picture also relies on picking up on context surrounding the subject. I know sensitive people who can see portals, for example. 

 

Image credit: Mindvalley blog

  One of the exercises that I've conducted to develop my clairvoyance involves visualizing my chakras. That exercise was so profound that I want to share it here. Chakras are the body's energy centers, and there are 7 of them. Each of the chakras have a color and an association. So for example it should come as no surprise that the heart chakra is associated with love. The short description of the exercise goes something like this: you ground and center yourself, and then one by one, ask which chakras wish to be visualized. During this exercise, you call up a chakra and sit with it until a picture forms in your mind that represents that chakra. I visualized five of my chakras during this exercise and the pictures I saw were absolutely breathtaking. I present them here in the order in which they were called. First I will describe the chakra (and its associated color), followed by the emotion I experienced, and then the image in my mind.  
    Solar Plexus (yellow): Associated with free will, self esteem, and confidence. I got a feeling of joy and happiness in this chakra. Slowly, an image developed in my mind of a field full of sunflowers. The field had soft rolling hills. The sky was a brilliant azure blue, the sun was blazing, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I could see the green stems of the sunflowers; the fully developed seeds in the center; a walking path to the right side of the field one could traverse and find themselves among the giants of the flower population. The joy and happiness exuded off of me and brought me to tears. It was overwhelming in the most incredible way. 
    3rd eye (indigo): Associated with intuition, imagination, and 'seeing beyond.' I was hit with a feeling of understanding. The 'seeing' in this chakra was a bit more abstract. The best way I can describe what I saw with this chakra was the ability to see energy. I saw spirit orbs and auras. To further practice my seeing (and to be fair this really is more about sensing than seeing), I imagined myself looking to see my own aura, and then that of my feline companions (yes, I know, but all living creatures have auras). My aura was green, and my cats had violet and yellow auras. It 'looks' a lot like an energy field surrounding the body. The stronger the aura, the further it radiates away from the central being.
    Heart (green): Associated with love and compassion, and boy did I feel it. Sitting quietly, I asked myself to picture what love looks like. Now before I get to what I saw I'd like to ask you dear reader, what image comes to mind when you ask yourself what love looks like? Go ahead and take a moment. Did you picture a loved one? A specific event in your life? Imagine your family? Something else? I thought my image would be that of my children. After all, I can't imagine a more unconditional love than that which I have for my kids. 
    Imagine my surprise when the image that I developed was that of the universe in its entirety! It was like looking at one of the Hubble Deep field images. The universe - vast, all encompassing - laid out in front of me. I was absolutely astounded. I've read that the driving force in the universe isn't gravity, it's love. And maybe on some level that influenced my image. But I can't deny the profound effect this had on me. I'm still ruminating on it, and likely will be for some time. 
    Root (red): Security, groundedness. I can't really say if I had a clear 'feeling' on this one, but the picture that developed in my mind was that of the elements. I first sensed water and Earth, and then slowly an image began to develop. I saw a landscape that encompassed all of the elements except fire. I stood atop a hill. In front of me I saw a rock outcrop. The hill was covered in short, greenish-silver grass. The wind blew gently on my face. Down below lay a valley with a meandering river. The hills on either side of the valley slowly graded down to a plain in the distance. The sun was about 20 degrees above the horizon, and occasionally masked by banks of clouds. It created a bluish-gray tint to the clouds, and the sky was various shades of blue. This landscape wasn't one I had ever witnessed with my own eyes. Whether it is an image of a real place on Earth, I cannot say, but the image was crystal clear and very real to me.
    Finally, my sacral chakra (orange) wanted in on the exercise. This chakra is typically associated with emotions, creativity, and sexuality. But interestingly enough what came through for me was a sense of knowledge and wisdom. I suppose it's fitting since I tend to live more in logic than emotion. I saw an infinite library. Bookshelves lined the wall for as far as the eye could see, and went up at least one story, if not two. I got a sense that this library in all its infinite expanse was ancient. Like it contained all of the collective knowledge of every human that has ever lived on Earth, and even knowledge beyond what we have come to understand as a species. 
    In front of me on a podium was an open book, old and worn. Bound in rich brown leather, its pages were yellowed and wrinkled with time. It was about the width and length of a laptop, but about 6 inches thick. I walked up to the book to see if I could read what was written on the pages. The writing was indiscriminate. I was told by spirit that the words written on the pages were not meant to be read to be understood, but sensed. I placed my hands on the pages to see if I could sense what was contained in this volume, but nothing came to me. I suspect I will be revisiting this place as my development continues, and perhaps as my senses evolve I will be able to gain access to the knowledge in that library. 
    I'm still digesting my experience from this exercise. I think what it was really doing was tapping deep into my subconscious. I'm pleased to know that deep down I feel joy and happiness; seek knowledge; feel grounded with the Earth, and have infinite love for everything that exists. Here I thought it was just going to be an exercise in creating pictures!